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All humorous contributions welcome and prizes will be given over the coming months.

This week:

How do I know if I hired the wrong COM developer?

And a Musical interlude!

Here is, no doubt, the first of many seasonal contributions in the run up to the festive season.

Click here for the cartoons page - watch out for new cartoons appearing at regular intervals!

With many thanks to Simon Robinson, whose other talents can be seen on his website!

We Three Monikers

(To be sung at parties.)

(This should be sung to the tune of 'We Three Kings of Orient are...')

We Three Monikers of Microsoft say hi
Bearing Lollipops Out of Our Sides
Registry Entry, Path and URL
Following yond'r object

Oh-oh Moniker of class and moniker of file
Moniker of item trails behind
Display name leading, still proceeding
Guide us to the right object

Born a coclass in Microsoft labs
His Class I D to seek him intact
There for ever, ceasing never
Until the final Release()


Files by name to offer have I
My Persistance leaves objects in sight
Path I select, bind to object
Instantiate him, the storage right


Items are mine, their meek existence
Lovingly tendered by moniker-to-left
Active they became, Sealed in display name
The right path they do present


Glorious now, behold him startup
Object and interface with two lollipops
Client app sing: 'QueryInterface'
'DebugAssert' the system replies


(note to editors: Class I D is intended
to have the spaces in - it's a play on the
original words) (either Gold I bring
or Myrrh I bring - I forget which)

How Do I know if I hired the wrong COM developer?

(by AnthonyToivonen — [email protected])
( Original Publisher Chris Sells - )

  • Keeps referring to interfaces as "Thingies".
  • Insists that migrating to NT5.0 is a bad idea because the going rate for a rental-threaded apartment is $640.00 a month plus utilities.
  • Comes into work one morning dressed as a cowboy and claiming to be "The new marshaller in town".
  • Wants to know how to tune his TV to the "RPC Channel".
  • Stands up in design meetings, grabs his crotch, and proclaims "Yo! Marshall this! Am I right?".
  • Names one of his interfaces "IKnown" and claims that any object that doesn't implement it is doomed to eventually fall victim to a "COM Identity Crisis".
  • Spends 2 hours in front of a whiteboard trying to prove that by taking the integral of the GUID generating function, one can discern the total surface area of the application's UI in pixels.
  • Pronounces GUID as "gooeey dee".
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